Inspiration

Last night I attended a weekly gathering we call 'Trash Talkin' Thursday'. This is where an ever changing group of friends gets together at the Cornucopia Burger Pub to talk serious trash. It's been almost five years that we have been enjoying this hilariously raunchy nosh n' slosh.

This time we were joined by two of my longest Eugene friends. Chuck, with whom I moved here, and Tara, a housemate twice. As we reminisced I thought about the impact these two individuals have made in my life. Chuck is one of the first people I knew to ignore his science degree, declare himself the writer he had always wanted to be, and hit the road to experience and write. This was more notable to me than my artist friends who went to college for art and called themselves artists. They had a sort of permission to do so. Chuck just decided it was so and so it was. Similarly, Tara is a self proclaimed visual artist. She paints, chalks, molds, and draws beautiful bright creations that I got to enjoy through two households. Living with a practicing artist is one of the most inspirational experiences of my life. It always makes me want to do it too.

I've been thinking about this a lot in the year I have been building up my business. I feel pulled in two directions when it comes to blossoming into a life I dreamed up for myself. On one hand: How dare I? Who am I to think I get to earn my living making silly fluffy creatures and being happy? In fact, how can I be happy at all in this world of suffering? I know we aren't supposed to ask ourselves these questions but I feel their asking from unconscious places. I feel deep pulls to heal this world. Doesn't a colorful playful life fly in the face of the tragedies happening all over my planet?

On the other hand I know that the fastest growth comes with positive reinforcement. I've watched my friend Sarah Hanna of the 'Life is Beautiful and so are YOU!' calendar create a life where she makes her living increasing the world's LOVE!!! She is doing it right now and I am so proud of her. She deserves to thrive. Seeing her blossom inspires me to do the same. She reminds people to be present in their lives. I think this is good. I think it is our responsibility to make the most of the tank of air we are allotted in this life. It takes up the same amount of space whether we live to our fullest potential or ignore the entire blessing of existence. Why not shine? It is not easy. I push myself a little bit at a time to increase my capacity for love. I still see myself being impatient and inconsiderate. Sometimes I feel depressed and cynical. I believe it takes ones entire life to blossom. I believe by setting a daily example for positivity we give others permission to do the same. And I believe this will help people transcend suffering.

My choices make a statement to the people who cross my path, not just my friends and acquaintances, but everyone. If I am suffering I give permission to others to do the same. The showgirl of your own discomfort. Right this way. When I look at it this way it seems very clear that I must do my best to totally rock. I encourage you to do the same. It will help me so much if you do.