Journey to the Rock Tree

It is both dull and fascinating to live these cycles over and over again. I am in a lull with my business. The lull is fueled by lack of financial oomph. I could go into the waa of it all but I'm sure you get the idea. My challenge is in the spirit. I get depressed at times like these. I start to see myself failing. Then I begin to make plans for what I will do once I fail. I start to look at college courses.

I am aquarius. I have let this aspect of my nature rule many significant life decisions leading me along spontaneous whimsical threads that I do not regret. The trend to be self defeating and depressive is a cycle I go through on a regular basis. I have a tool bag to handle it these days but I realized today that it is a state I have normalized. I expect to fail at my crazy aquarian attempts at greatness. I predict failure for myself and speed up the process because I cannot bear to leave things unresolved. As I age I feel my taurus rising taking a stronger hold on my decisions. I think this is good for me to be more practical and grounded. Let aquarius make art but leave the long term goals to taurus who will hang in there through the rough spells. It is a shift in perspective that does not need to lean on astrology but I like to have names for my various inner beings.

11 years ago I was living and traveling in VW van with my hippie boyfriend in the Southwest. We did a good amount of backpacking into remote places. In March of 1999 we hiked into the Guadalupe Mountains of northern Texas. It was a long hike with a significant rise in elevation and I was carrying a 30 or 40 lb pack. I whined and complained so much that finally my boyfriend, Chuck, just went ahead and left me to my woe-is-me sluggish pace. I hated that climb. I couldn't believe I was subjecting myself to the physical torture. I wanted to stop and camp on a pile of vertical rocks rather than ascend one more step. I finally made it to the top. The view was stunning and a soft tent pad with a fire pit was already present. It snowed that night and I was prepared with my (heavy) 0 degree mummy bag. I felt proud that I had made it to the top and that I was prepared for my first time snow camping. The next day when we hiked back down Chuck went ahead again leaving me to reflect on the experience. I realized the symbolism of the climb and I use the lesson to this day. In the hardest of times just put one foot in front of the other and continue to breathe. The complaining weakened me. It drained my optimism and any capacity for appreciating the awesome beauty that was surrounding me.

Along the trail I passed this tree.
You'll notice that the tree has a rock in it's embrace. It just continued to grow, elevating it's new companion along the way. I have shown this photo to a number of friends throughout the years and it has never been received with much enthusiasm. I was always surprised because I was frozen in my tracks when I saw this natural wonder. I could never put my finger on what made it speak to me before now. This is how I feel about my tendencies toward depression and self defeat. If they want to stay in the path of my growth then it is my only choice to embrace these tendencies and continue upward. I am staying on this path, one foot in front of the other. If these lessons insist on working through me again and again then I will bring them along. It is this journey I choose.

Hairy Bunny Eyeball

Here it is, my 'Easter' product. It is my favorite eyeball of them all...it's off the wall! OK. I will forgo my mad rhymes for now.

I don't celebrate Easter. This makes me question whether or not I have any place contributing to the holiday based economy that so many manufacturers take advantage of. Am I ethically allowed to make a bunny in the springtime? Do I care about what I'm allowed to do? Not really. And I love this bunny. It has inspired all sorts of variations for the Hairy Eyeball line. Simple additions to make them irresistible like rams' horns, eyebrows, or wings!

3D Space Out

I've been back from vacation almost a week now. I suppose I should blog. I went to visit family in upstate New York for one week. It was a great time with loads of family bonding and road trips. I also tried the Wii for the first time. I played several different exercise-ish games. It was fun to have family workout time (and unprecedented!). I'm glad video games are getting more physical.

Now I'm back to work. I have a couple of small projects to finish up. Then I'm on to preparing for the Saturday Market which starts up again in about a month.
One of my projects is kind of mind twisting. I rarely interact with Craig's list. This said, when I returned from my trip I was thinking about money and my choices. I did a quick search for employment as a 'stuffed animal designer'. I figured somebody has that job. I wonder if it's fun. I found an ad. I corresponded back and forth a couple of times with a woman named Deb. She described the project to me like this: ' a 6” diameter sphere with a 1” tunnel through the middle (a spherical doughnut). We are looking for a white, small loop/strand polyester fabric, with small polyester bead fill. A 2” thin Velcro’d opening on a surface seam should be provided on the sample.'

They paid me for 2 of them sight unseen. I looked up the company name 'SD5G'. They do work with 3D, prosthetics, and parties?!?! My project goes in the party category.

Working with the polyester bead fill was maddening. I've never used it before. It has serious static cling issues.

I devised a system involving telescoping cardboard funnels and a paper scoop that worked ok. My floor was an interesting sensory experience before the spheres were through.